I have, on previous occasions, expressed my disdain for various elements of the pony fandom, but, in the last few weeks, said disdain has turned into rage and I needed to take an extended break from any direct fandom involvement for both my sake and the sake of my friends in the fandom.
I’ve given the matter a lot of thought and decided that I’m going to stay but it’s going to be on a much more limited basis. I’m not going to fly to any further pony conventions and thus only go to Whinny City and Ponyville Ciderfest going forward. Even then, I’m not going to make them a priority if there is a conflict.
I don’t think that the pony fandom is “dying”, even now. No fandom can ever truly die, so long as there are still people devoted to it, even if that number is relatively small. Yet, it has shrunk significantly since the height of its popularity due to a variety of factors. The most prominent one in my mind is that the media associated with G5 is neither all that great nor all that terrible. This, along with its complete aversion to risk in either the storylines or in its characterization, has rendered it completely irrelevant in contemporary Internet/popular culture and has likely driven away people from the fandom. From what I’ve observed, it’s also not drawing people in, as it doesn’t stand out at all compared to the far more compelling and interesting media that is currently available.
Thus, the fandom continues to shrink and it becomes increasingly more difficult to avoid either direct or indirect contact with the individuals and groups within it that irritate me immensely. It’s similar to how, when I was forced to live in a small town, there was no escape from all the stupid, irritating people that tormented me directly and relentlessly. For me, the pony fandom has become somewhat like that small town, save that I’m not being targeted directly.
Yet, the monotony of life in that small town does unfortunately feel like the current experience for me in the pony fandom. Conventions feel mostly the same year in and year out, any excitement seems artificial and forced. (Seriously, stop saying “We’re still here!” when “We” keeps shrinking.) Without any compelling content, either from the show or the fanbase, conventions feel more like The Masque of the Red Death, not being able to accept the decline of the fandom along with its convention scene.
Before the pitchforks and torches come out, I am not disparaging anyone who genuinely enjoys conventions/G5 media/fandom/etc. The people that I’m irritated with in this regard are the ones unable to let go of G4/want to go back and have it changed and/or think that the fandom is just as big/popular as it used to be. Those days are never coming back and nor should they.
Whenever a topic like that comes up, I have no idea if the person who started it is trolling or just plain stupid; it’s very annoying either way. I have no desire to associate with that rhetoric or with the individuals spewing it. As the saying goes, I am so done with all of that. I’m also done with fandom drama, which seems to get progressively worse as the fandom shrinks and the usual suspects keep running around the same tracks in ever more vicious circles. The narcissists, grifters, trolls, drooling morons, complete imbeciles, sexual criminals, and fascists are increasingly hard to avoid in fandom spaces and at conventions..they all disgust me.
All of these factors, along with, perhaps, the length of time that I have been in the pony fandom, have contributed to making me feel little in the way of joy when it comes to pony. I saw it at its beginning, at its peak, and now I’m witnessing der Untergang - the downfall.
As aforementioned, I’m not going to leave but I’m going to not be nearly as involved as I used to be, either emotionally, financially, or physically. I will try to stay in contact with my friends in the fandom and try to demonstrate, to the best of my ability, calmness and peace in fandom spaces..as difficult as that is.
I don’t want to be remembered as someone who couldn’t control their anger and lashed out at people who didn’t deserve it. For that, I am humbly apologetic.
If I cannot control my temper and the pony fandom continues to bring out the worst in me, then, I will have no choice but to depart. I’ll do whatever I can to avoid that happening, as I would prefer to exit on my terms.